Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
