Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
