Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
