I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
