I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
