I don't think brook has ever known best
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
