I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
