I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
