he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
