there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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