so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
