toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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