No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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