well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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