physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
