3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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