Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
