Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
