Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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