we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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