I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
