oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize