and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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