Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
