It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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