I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
