So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
