but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize