I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
