so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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