You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize