Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
