It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
