I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
