I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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