i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
