what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
