I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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