He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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