i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize