Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
