Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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