Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
