so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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