Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
