used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
