You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
