It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
do nipples grow back?
Randomize