your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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