I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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