Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
