Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Even my vagina gasped.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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