Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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