sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
