Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize