Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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