the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
