He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize